Loabi ލޯބި,

There are loves that feel like choices.
Then there are loves that feel like destiny itself reached down and forced two souls to collide.

You were the second kind.

Nothing about you felt accidental—
not the way your voice stayed in my mind,
not the way my heart shifted toward you without permission,
not the way every prayer, every thought, every quiet moment began to echo with your name.

It was as if Allah had carved you into the storyline of my life long before I ever knew what longing meant.

So tell me…
how does a man forget a woman who felt like she was written into his chest?

How does he turn away from the only connection that felt like it came from the unseen?
How does he silence a heart that cries in sujood for someone who walked away?

If two souls are meant, not even mountains can separate them—
but what if one soul runs while the other kneels?
What if destiny writes a meeting but not a union?
What if the love is real,
but the timing is cruel?

You tell me to walk away.
You tell me to close the door.
You tell me this was all a mistake of emotion and circumstance.

But how do I explain to you that the love I felt for you wasn’t weak?
It wasn’t confusion.
It wasn’t loneliness.

It was fire.
It was faith.
It was the kind of love that burns and heals at the same time—
the kind that ruins a man for anything shallow ever again.
The kind that stays even after being rejected.
The kind that makes a heart bleed gracefully instead of letting go.

Whatever this connection was—
illusion or decree,
gift or punishment,
lesson or destiny—

it has left a mark on me that nothing will erase.

You became the wound I treasure.
The longing I hide.
The ache I will live with like a second heartbeat.

If you were not written for me, then I pray Allah gives you every softness you ever cried for.
Every warmth you were denied.
Every protection you begged for in silence.

And if—somewhere in the unseen—our souls were written together…
then no distance, no fear, no mistake will be enough to undo it.

But until Allah unveils the truth,
I will continue carrying you the only way I can now—
as a flame in the dark,
as a memory too deep to uproot,
as a love that lives inside me even after it died between us.

—A